What day is it again?

I am so thrown off right now. After an incredible weekend with friends from out of town. All in all I guess I really didn't do *that* bad. We ended up at an Irish pub. I had a very yummy Irish club (grilled chicken, cheese, bacon on white bread)and their homemade kettle chips which I didn't eat many of. Then there were a few beers. We left and went by a tattoo parlor. They had been toying with the ideas of getting new ink and who doesn't love new ink? Especially on vacation. They didn't end up getting anything done and we went to another sports bar where we had a few more drinks. Then I proceeded to drink a glass of wine when I got home because I wasn't buzzed and I wanted to be.... and I was. I stayed up way too late, but luckily didn't have to be at work until 8 (which really meant 8:30).

Got to work on Monday... and then I started to feel icky. I really don't think it was a hangover because I didn't feel bad all morning. I just started feeling like I wanted to throw up and I was hot and cold so I took my temp and I was running a little bit of a fever so I went home.

Then the day of doom began.

Long story short because to be honest I don't really want to get into the long story.... I have 2 cats. Now I have one cat. My oldest cat was almost 18, had cancer and the major issue he was suffering from was renal failure. For 2 years my parents have done everything in their power to help that cat maintain his quality of life as well as a pain free life. Which included taking him into the vet twice a week for pain patches, taking him for fluids every other day here at the end, getting him chicken to eat (which was his favorite) when he wouldn't eat anything else, etc.

Let me tell you, we are animal people. Always have been and I wouldn't trade that for the world. My parents look at their animals as their "other" children. I look at them as a brother or sister, or in my case with "my" cat... he is MY child. Now, saying that, we would do absolutely ANYTHING in our power to help them however we can when in need. My parents were blessed to be able to afford to keep Stimpy alive as long as they could. I'm talking seveal medications he was taking every day, the pain patches were $90 a week.... it got to the point that the vet didn't even charge my family for a vet visit each time. He was the hospitals mascot.

Watching the slow decline of his health was heart wrenching. Just like losing an old friend or watching a parent or grandparent deteriorate in front of you. We prayed and prayed that he would die in his sleep rather than us having to make the decision to put him down. Lets face it, who wants to kill their friend?

I got home from work and my mom was on the phone with the vet. It was time. She made an appointment for him at 3:00 and called my dad. And I cried. And I cried. And I cried for at least 3 hours. My parents cried. We took him to the vet and he didn't even put up a fight, not the he would've, but I've heard of animals that almost know its coming and freak out the whole way. Instead he rested. He was a tired cat.... he was worn out and he put up a fight to stay with us as long as he could.

And then he was gone.

I didn't study on Sunday... I didn't study on Monday afternoon. I didn't go to work Tuesday. I still wasn't feeling good, I was emotionally exhausted and desparately needed to study. That's what I did.

I bombed the CRAP out of my bio test, but I figure there are 7. Go ahead and do really bad on one and then you have it out of the way for the semester.

After 2 really bad days...

I woke up feeling more centered today than I have in quite a while.

TOM is finally almost over. I feel like it's been coming on FOREVER....

I think I'm going to change my weigh in day to Wednesdays so I can report to my therapist. I weighed in at 197.5 this morning. 2 lbs down from what I had been seeing all week, but only .5 down from my lowest weigh in on the 17th. I'll take it!

I didn't freak out this morning when I got to work and there were papers all over my desk from where they covered for me yesterday. Normally I FREAK because my OCD doesn't allow me to do much otherwise. Before I came in the building I told myself to breathe and to get over it.... I knew what was going to happen and it was inevitable.

When I was getting ready to write my blog I was looking at my weigh ins. For a split second I was discouraged because I was thinking "only .5 down over the past 10 days!?!?!" I guess I just need to get used to that with TOM. On the other hand, I am EXTREMELY encouraged because I will be seeing Mike in 11 weeks. 77 days! If I lost 2.5 lbs per week I will be able to reach my goal of 170 by April 17th.

A few of the girls and I on 3FC are having a "2.5 CLUB" where we really push each other. Let's face it -- you don't lose 2.5 lbs per week cheating here and there, not drinking enough water or drinking on the weekends. This means DISCIPLINE!!!!!

I'm motivated.

I know I keep saying this, but I think it's time to incorporate exercise back in. I keep avoiding it to be honest because with school I'm so busy that when I come home all I want to do is sit on the couch. On the weekends all I do is study so my breaks are for "me."

Also, since we're putting everything out there, I'm afraid if I start exercising I'll start gaining. I have resistance bands I want to do and I know they work, but I don't want to add on a bunch of muscle weight. :( Yes, today, the number on the scale is more important that being tones. Note I said FOR TODAY...

Howver, I guess I could start exercising and see how my body reacts to it. Hell, it might hurt and if I'm losing it anyway -- WHY NOT?! HAHA

I keep thinking today is Monday since my days are all off.

I have therapy today, school tomorrow night and this weekend I will be making an organic whole wheat pizza. I'm really excited about this! If anyone has any suggestions for recipes, etc please let me know! I will be posting whatever recipe I use and pictures of the process!!!!

Continue to have a great week everyone!!!!