"It's time to worry about YOU and not everyone else..."

Is what I was told this morning. It should probably be a motto for me. I'll admit it I'm nosey. I gossip. That's something in the future I would like to work on (hooray, just one more thing to add on to the list)...

I admit that sometimes, when I post on the 3FC forum and I see that other people are heavier than me and wear smaller clothes it makes me really frustrated.

I understand that all bodies are not created equally.

Just because I understand that doesn't mean that it doesn't get to me.

So I was venting to my friend about someone who is almost 50 lbs heavier than me and only ONE inch taller than me that can wear a much smaller pant size. I'm still in the 16-18s and this person claimed they can wear a size 12. Granted, I do not know that it may be vanity sizing.

I have a big ass. Serious junk in the trunk. Big hips. Always have, probably always will. I love my curves, but I could stand to lose what I have dubbed my "hippo thighs."

My friend literally said to me "I'm putting my foot down, you need to worry about YOU and not worry about what everyone else is doing."

You know what? She's right on the money and I'm glad she put her foot down with me. That's exactly what I needed to hear right now.

Instead of being worried with what everyone else is doing, how much weight everyone else is losing, how people who ask me about weight loss but then refuse to do anything themselves are doing...

I need to be worried about bringing MY personal A-Game. I need to start being gracious for the things I have, for the things I'm doing for MYSELF. I'm not doing this for anyone else.... this is about ME. Worry about ME.

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I had a complete melt down last week. I never really realized just how important my schedule is to me. I had Monday off of work. My therapist took me out to dinner for my celebratory "You made it to the 170s" dinner on Tuesday. I completely forgot about my therapy appointment on Wednesday (first time I've done that). I thought I had a session with my personal trainer on Wednesday which I did not. Thursday I hit rock bottom. I became so frustrated with the routine of working out, eating well (ish), that I just mentally exhausted myself. This lifestyle change is NOT easy by any means. I'm constantly pulling back layers of myself (which is why I'm in therapy) and I was done for the week. D-O-N-E DONE!

I cancelled my training appointment on Thursday (a first for me which I'm kind of proud of, but not proud I cancelled), I didn't work out for the rest of the weekend and I ate whatever I wanted. Not cool.

TOM is here (and almost gone, YAY). I weighed in yesterday at 180.0. Not happy about it, but I'm really hoping it will go down after TOM has left for the month.

I got back to the gym yesterday afternoon which felt good after taking a week off. I don't have any PT appointments this week because in NOT making my appointment last week I wasn't able to sign up for my appointments THIS week and she didn't have any availability after I got off of work. So next week it is. I'm hoping to be able to have 3 sessions next week since I missed 1 this week.

I have some goals for myself. Some shorter term, but mostly LONG term.

I am *crossing fingers* buying my ticket for the SUPER FUCKING FABULOUSLY AWESOME 311 concert at the Fox Theatre in ATL on HALLOWEEN. They're doing an ultra rare set so I'm hoping the universe is still loving me and is holding a ticket for me.

My goal is to lose another 30 lbs (10 lbs per month) before then.

If I make this goal my other goal is to get a sexy/sassy Halloween costume. I've never worn one and I think I deserve/want this.

I'm thinking something along these lines:




OR



I am an Alice fan through and through but the Queen costume is super hot. Even I can admit that.

I've always wanted to be a runner. Mostly because I despise it. I felt like if I could become a runner that it would be a huge accomplishment because I hate running and have never felt able to do it or wasn't physically able to do it. I've tried doing the C25K program and floundered around and gave up twice now.

I want something to motivate me to do that. What more can motivate you than SIGNING UP FOR A 5K?

I have found 2 possible dates - November 6 or December 4. I posted on FB asking if any of my local friends are interested and already got a response. Soooo - I have about 14 weeks to train for it (if we decide on the Nov. 6 date). Honestly, I would like MORE training time because I'm scared, BUT I think it would be pretty damn cool to have a 5K under my belt 8 days shy of my 27th birthday.

That's all the big news I have for now. Time to get FOCUSED.

How do you all get focused on your goals?