UH WTF....

I'm not really sure what happened yesterday, but my eating started to go downhill an then it just snowballed from there.

I will admit, I have not been well prepared with my meals lately. Especially since it's the end of the month - this month has had 5 weeks in it - and because I live the life of a rockstar (i.e. acting like an idiot and not saving money the way I should) I am ALWAYS beyond broke by the end of the month (which is another thing I really need to work on).

I rarely eat breakfast which is another big problem I know I need to fix. I'm never hungry in the morning, but in order to get my metabolism going I HAVE to start eating something in the morning.

Yesterday I ate:

a pack of cheese crackers
an apple with sunflower butter (simliar to PB)
a lean cuisine lasagna meal
1/2 of a protein bar
some potato chips when I got home
almost a whole package of saltine crackers
thai soup w. pork and noodles for dinner
a peppermint stick
then I woke up in the middle of the night and ate MORE potato chips and 2 more peppermint sticks
Oh yeah, I also had a piece of caramel/white chocolate dipped apple that my mom made

Now, I probably would have been okay had I not gone downhill with the chips, crackers and candy.

I was ready to eat my arm off due to my workout, but I was just out of control.

TOM is here so that certainly didn't help, but I KNEW what I was doing and just couldn't stop. Now I feel like crap emotionally and physically.

UGH. Fuck compulsive eating.

I wanted to post this just so I could put it out there. It happens and I know that it's over and done with and I can't change it now so I shouldn't beat myself up, but I have all of these plans for what I WILL be changing and I feel like I keep standing in my own way.

RAHHHHHH. /rant